Roll Over Thomas Jefferson
(and Tell Corporate America The News)

If it ain’t a stampede of verbal rottweilers parading the catwalk of a corn-on-the-cob conversation - linguini pork pies, stuck among a dentist’s dream – it’s the slow death of denial. A (clandestine) denial that there’s more to life than upper-thighs, upper-management and the Grateful Dead.

Sad really, but what're ya gonna do? Fight the good fight or succumb to the home shopping club in search of a tent and religion?

Perverse as it may sound, a great many of those who subscribe to the home shopping club, truly believe they have something to believe in. It's called consumerism with a capital C.

‘’Well tan my soul with a cossack’s jockstrap,’’ retorts Joseph McCarthy from the depths of hell, ‘’In my day, a capital C stood for communism.’’

Thank you Mr. Paranoid Prick. Don’t call us. And we won’t call you.

But seriously folks, just because a couple of scuzzballs - who enjoy having sex with broken furniture and the odd farm animal - ruleth the sanctity of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, that doesn't mean we have to do the same. In fact, it's an exceedingly good idea that we don't. Otherwise, we may all turn into miserable old slapper types with nothing to show apart from an aging wife - with a penchant for plumbers - and a suburban lifestyle all beer gut, kite flying and Soul Asylum.

Yuk! What the fuck could be worse than waking up beside a plethora of naked kite-flying fanatics, all discussing favourite kite positions and how to give good string (technique)?

Thomas Jefferson didn't have a fax machine and I know for a fact, he didn't drive a Jeep. If you think I'm kidding, think again. For if he did have these things, he'd have never written the Declaration of Independence.

That someone as brilliant as Jefferson could write: "that all men are created equal and independent," reiterates this point ten fold.

Forget ten fold - try fifty fold.

Fact is, MEN ARE NOT CREATED EQUAL.

What's more, a great many men are doing their damndest to ensure that it stays this way.

Corporate America for instance, who, lest it be known, have about as much dress sense and compassion as Hitler. Admittedly, this last point may not have a great deal to do with equality, but have you walked along Fifth Avenue recently?

Forgive them Jimmy Cliff, for they know not what they wear!

Furthermore, the same applies to countless politicians (who again, are as equally renowned for their crap dress sense as they are for their designer compassion). Lest we forget the purveyors of racism - one of whose organizations, go in for the wearing of sheets and make absolutely no bones about being void of humanity altogether.

All of whom in one way or another - usually another, of which most simpletons are usually utterly unaware - are intertwined.

So there's your answer: we all need to walk around nekkid - geddit?

Gravity uber alles (und so weiter). After all, t’asn't done Bill Clinton any harm has it?

Like peas-in-a-pod - all goody two shoes and checking account - so far as the aforementioned wheezels of corporate America et al are concerned, life's a pot-roast of raging self interest. This year's model - be it the mistress, the motor-car or MTV - is of far more importance (and value), than those monetarily beneath them i.e. the homeless.

If it wasn't, homelessness in the U.S.A. might not quite be the epidemic it is. The upper floor (replete with countless bad jokes about liver problems and people from Ireland) would make sure of it.

So what are YOU going to do about it?

Purchase another Green Day CD and pretend to be a disgusted street urchin riddled with revolt? Or, join an organization such as Amnesty International and have a bit of a constructive shout at the fuckers?

Jefferson once wrote a letter to James Madison in which he stated: ‘’A little rebellion now and then is a good thing.’’

Like the pursuit of happiness, it's a shame most people just don’t get it. And, on behalf of the homeless, it's a shame they never will.